Like a startled koala dazzled by the headlights, these comments are in the order of episode scenes broadcast.
First impressions:
The Boat – The yacht is the “Northern Sun”, built in 1976, deployed in 1977 (a fishing trawler) and refitted in 2007 as a yacht. Even more of an antique than the previous BDDU boat, “Thalassa”, built in 2001 and refitted in 2016. Northern Sun is a former Japanese fishing boat -- "Look out! It's Gojira (Godzilla)! Oh, no!"
Crew:
Captain Jason: I don’t know why so many women are willing to shed their underwear for him – have you noticed his teeth? Of course, there may be other qualities that appeal; I wouldn’t know. My opinion of him from the previous season was mixed due to his management style. I’m willing to keep an open mind this season.
Aesha: Chief Stew and welcome back! Aesha was a gem last season and the glue that held things together. She claims she’s going to be a “tough bitch”… well, “tough-ER bitch”… well… Nah. Don’t believe it – she’s too nice. She’ll be walked over.
Tzarina Mace-Ralph- Chef: Really? Assuming that’s her real name… Psycho. Perfectly suited to BRAVO. Seems like a low-rent Rachel. Don’t think she’ll last the season.
Margot: Not yet.
Laura: All about appearance. Trouble.
Luke: Seems up to the task as Bos’n.
Harry: TSTT.
Adam: Seems OK so far.
Vlad – Dyma – Dave – First officer, engineer, etc. -- Nice to meet you for the 2 seconds you were on camera, won’t see you for the rest of the season.
Oh, gee, a planned deckhand can’t make it. Looks like we’re going to have a deckhand supplied by Shenanigans Incorporated.
Right off the bat we’re treated to a series of clips that promise drama, etc. Experience has taught me not to get too excited.
Aesha claims “not to let anyone walk all over me”, but she’s so nice… we’ll see.
Laura – “I’m a hustler.” I believe it.
Producer shenanigans already start with the “guest requested crew join in” Can-Can party. *sigh*
Laura – yep, definitely trouble.
Adam: Level-headed, family focused.
Jason: “I reckon you all can handle it.” Translation: if it fails, it’s entirely your fault when you can’t.
The chef complains about the amount of counter space available – frankly, it’s far more than I’ve seen on some of the BD shows. Heck, I wish I had that much space in *my* kitchen!
Aesha, after splitting her skirt, “The guests can’t see my labia!” Yeah, well, not unless you show them.
What a bunch of drunken, crap guests for the first charter! Seriously, somewhere there are several villages missing their idiots. Obnoxious doesn’t even begin to describe this lot. These pigs obviously don’t want to do anything that’s been arranged for them, which continues to lend credence to those who think most of this is staged.
Is anything served during the crab dinner actually warm by the time it gets to the table? Doubtful. Guests seemed to like it, though.
Can we please see less of day-glo-blue-speedo-boy?
What will happen next week? Will the guests (hopefully) get eaten by sharks? Will Laura smack them down (or up)? Will the Captain drop them off at the marina (but if so, what of the Can-Can party -- wouldn't it then be a Can't-Can't party?)? Stay tuned, if you care. Or dare. Or something.
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